On your marks, Get set…..Marry!

Well that’s the way I believe people are taking the idea of getting married, like some race against time (Ha! Time is not on my side again o!, Can’t you see your biological clock is ticking fast?) A race amongst young single ladies to revel in the satisfaction of an elevation in marital status while she looks at her colleagues in the gender department in a patronizing manner coupled with disdain and arrogance believing that they must have been promiscuous during their earlier years and this must be the reason why they’re still single in their 30’s.

Over the years, the meaning of marriage has changed. In the days of our grandparents and some of our parents, it used to be an institution ordained only by God Himself. A young lady meets her husband and marries him because she loved him well enough to spend the rest of her life with him not only as the father of her children but also as a companion and a friend.

Nowadays, reverse is the case. Young ladies bungee jump into marriage either because they believe they’re getting old and their families and society are beginning to demand a husband of them or because their mates are getting married and they don’t want to be left out of the club so they join the bandwagon of marrying ladies. Some also get married for bizarre reasons… they want to have babies, the man is loaded so their future is secure if they did, the guy lives in America or Europe and he’s their first class ticket to the easy life in a land where the streets are paved with gold, ask these ladies what the man does for a living and all they’ll tell you is ‘He’s a businessman’ further ask what kind of business does he do and all you’ll get is a blank and clueless stare (More on this later).

Bye bye marriage based on love and compatibility, hello genetically created marriage developed in weird laboratories by desperate single ladies with the assistance of imperious parents and a society which has just refused to mind its own business. In the end, it’s the poor, marriage hungry ladies that bear the brunt especially when the marriage turns out to be a nightmare, contrary to the ‘Cinderella’ picture she had in mind when she looked into his eyes (on what was once the happiest day of her life and now is a day she curses with enough venom to kill an elephant in seconds) and said ‘I do’ before the Minister and a crowd of guests, half of whom she has never met in her life.

I don't believe marriage should be the ultimate goal in a lady's life. Yes I'd like to get married to a man I love, cherish and adore but at the same time, I'm not going to take it as a do or die affair. I believe in a happy married life and I don't think rushing into it just to please everyone else is going to get me that which I desire for my marriage and the last thing I need in my life is divorce so I'm committing it all to God, telling Him what I want and letting Him work it out the way he does which is always the best way

Marriage is not something you just rush into, it’s not something you go into just because Caroline just got married last week and Busola is getting married in 2 months. Or because mummy keeps pestering you and has even jumped the gun to pick out aso ebi colors and you desperately want to get her off your back. Most of the time, we tend to forget that once we enter the man’s house, we’re on our own. Our parents business ended when daddy handed us over in the church and went home to continue calculating what kind of car your bride price can fetch him. When shit hits the fan and you come running home, all they’ll tell you is ‘Sorry o! but you have to go back to him, he’s your husband!’ then the ones that even make the move to accompany you back to your matrimonial home, only go there to appeal to him to be more understanding and to take you back. So in the end, you’re just a negotiation tool.

Why not try to find fulfillment as a single woman instead of looking unto marriage to do just that. If you think that you'll find fulfillment in marriage, chances are 9:1 that you're going to be very disappointed with the result.

So young, single woman, embrace your life, look up to God who's the source of all good things which includes a blissful and happy marriage to the man of your dreams.

There'll be more posts on this issue later so this isn't the end of it

Shalom!