MY WACKY LAGOS RAIN EXPERIENCE

No one gave me a warning

Not even the sky that was so clear when I left home that Thursday morning in my usual fashion of speeding out the door. I barely managed to utter a ‘good morning’ to my dad who was already engrossed in his daily ritual: deep thinking with his elbow on the arm rest and his index finger resting on his upper lip. Staring at nothing in particular Mum wasn’t going to school that day which meant I wasn’t going to get my daily drop off at the bus-stop closest to where I board my fully air conditioned BRT bus (Fashola God Bless You!!!). So I had to do what I had been dreading for months: board a bike to Yaba bus stop.

It was something I couldn’t avoid especially when someone at the office had decided to re-activate our timer which meant everyone had to be at the office latest 9am sharp. 9:05am was considered late and unacceptable (Like I don’t stay at work for close to 2hrs past closing time) Anyway, I finally got to the BRT bus, settled in and shortly afterwards, I was joined by my friend and colleague, Afi. The bus began to move and we carried on gisting about anything and everything.

The weather didn’t change until we got to Marina. The sky was dark and little drops of rain began to pelt the windscreen as it began to drizzle. I turned to Afi

‘ Afi it’s raining o!’

‘Chei’ she responds ‘And my umbrella’s at home o. I should have taken it since Enuka told me it was raining on the Island’

‘What do we do?’ I asked ‘Because what if we get to Obalende and we can’t get a bike to take us to the office’

We then decided that we would get down at CMS bus-stop and then take a Taxi to the office from there By the time we got to CMS bus-stop, the rain had begun to pour and traffic had built up on the road. Afi suggested that we follow the bus down to Obalende because there was little or no chance of us getting either a good shelter, or a taxi. The thought of the dirty, smelly Obalende water struck my mind and I hoped against all hope that I was over imagining things.

Obalende, turned out to be worse. Everywhere was flooded. We thought the BRT bus was going to park at the terminus and so we declined to come down under the bridge where he had stopped for some passengers to come down. We were about to kick off our shoes and relax when he suddenly made a complete U-Turn to face the opposite direction. He wasn’t going to the Terminus; he was going back to Yaba! So there we were standing under the bridge and looking very confused.

'Shit!' I muttered under my breath and kept promising myself how I'd do everything in my power to get my self a car.

There was no way we could take a bike as we would have been soaked to our underwear before we got to the office. Taxis weren’t forthcoming and we were desperate to get out of the filthy area so we decided to go for the next best option: Keke Marwa We finally got one, complete with rubber curtains to keep out the rain and we were grateful for the relief. Unknown to us, there was more wahala up ahead. Instead of going through the normal Moloney route, the guy turned into St Gregory’s road so he could link up through Awolowo road. We didn’t say anything. We just sat back and let the guy drive. As long as he was going to drop us off in front of the office, I wasn’t bothered what route he was going to make use of to achieve this.

Then I saw the flood. It was up ahead and the water was so high, it nearly touched the side windows of the cars that waded through it. I looked at the driver. I hoped he saw what I seeing but he remained unfazed and proceeded to wade through the flood as well

And so we went Chu chu chu chu!

The vehicle jiggled as the driver manoeuvred it through the flood. Then smack right in the middle of it, the vehicle gave a shudder and the engine died there! Afi and I panicked. We were right in the middle of the dirty, filthy, smelly Obalende water!

‘Shit’ I muttered and instinctively raised my legs to keep the water from touching my feet ‘

Ye! Wahala!’ Afi exclaimed and raised her legs as well.

The driver tried to start the car. Once..twice...thrice...still it didn’t budge. He got down and began to push the Keke to higher ground. At a pont, the keke shook and we were nervous about it turning over. We were laughing quite alright but the kind of laugh where deep inside, you’re thinking ‘Chei Gbese!’

'If this keke should tumble over’ Afi began ‘I’m going straight home. I will not go to work!’

Another keke passed us by and the stupid driver forgot that he was driving a Keke and not a Trailer. His Keke gave an agonizing cry and like we say in pidgin 'Pafukaed' there in the flood. Our driver kept trying to start his Keke but the machine refused to listen to him. Apprehension began to build in me. I thought of the vermin that could be crawling around in this flood. There was no way I was going to get down in the middle of the flood and wade my way through it! I didn’t care if we sat down there till noon. I wasn’t going anywhere in the rain. Afi bowed her head and closed her eyes, praying to God to leave whoever he must be rescuing in VI flood and come get us out of here.

And He did hear her because after what seemed like the 10th attempt, the keke finally came to life. We heaved a sigh of relief and commanded the driver to do a complete U-Turn. As we made our way to the office, I found it amusing that we were coming in Chinese style and for a brief moment, I changed my name to Xing Li (Whatever the hell that means)

Later that night, I related the story to my mum and brother. They laughed so hard that I was scared I would have to explain to my dad why there were 2 heart attacks in his house.

But at the end of it all, like all other experiences, I think back to that day and I laugh